A Parable

RT smiled.

The distant baying of crazed Amateur Critics was getting closer, but he was almost to the vehicle and safety. He should have known that ending the concert with a 12-minute, feedback- and sweat-drenched version of Todger would push some of the less stable ones over the edge. Still, he hadn't expected them to rush the stage like that. Of course, having the electrical circuits blow out at the end of his final solo hadn't helped any. Lit by the eerie glow of the theater's emergency lights, it was a scene he wouldn't soon forget. He hoped the amps were not too badly damaged by the arcing and that Nigel and Malcolm had been able to protect the guitars. And what had happened to the rest of the band?

The frenzied sounds of his pursuers grew in volume. Reaching into his rattle bag, he quickly spread out a few items under the nearest street light. "These ought to slow them down a bit", he thought.

He thought the concert had been one of his best. Opening act Cheap Ass Ceiling Fan's trance-inducing set had provided a great contrast and the new security system had detected a surprising number and variety of recording devices. The auctioning of these confiscated units (that'll teach them to read the fine print on the tickets) should provide Amnesty International with a decent amount of cash. 

It was a pity that a few of the miscreants made such a fuss that they had to be arrested. They would be really upset to discover that the first encore was Dragging the River, followed by When I'm Prime Minister and Push and Shove. And he hadn't done The Angels Took My Racehorse Away in ages. Yes, this was a good one. Doing these songs again reminded him of how long he'd been performing. Ah, the memories.

He was almost to the car now. Bother! A few of the Dee-shirted horde had somehow managed to get ahead of him. Luckily, he had recently had the car outfitted with some special equipment. He whistled the opening to Beat the Retreat. The MGB-RT started, moving toward him with the door open. He jumped in, tossed a few more items at the startled crowd that had just come round the corner and, with a wave of his hand, left them watching the dark.

Larry Schussler